My war began on the Maidan in 2014. I remember that during the so-called truce on Hrushevsky Street, I went up to a line of law enforcement officers who rattled their shields, scaring away those who tried to talk to them.. They were very hostile. But I came close and asked: \?

Someone laughed. But it broke the ice between us and we started talking. In Russian. Because we were all Russian-speaking at that time. For some reason, they started talking about Putin, that it is very beneficial for him to split Ukraine. That we all want to save our country, but not as a satellite of Russia. In the first line were colonels and lieutenant colonels from the Crimea. And they did their best to prove to me that if Russia turns up, they will be the first to go to defend Ukraine.. I wonder how it really happened?

... The war in our family has been constantly present all these years. Starting with the fact that my husband and I met at the hospital where I came as a volunteer in 2014. So we took turns going east: I went to the ATO zone as a volunteer, and my husband went on a business trip to the JFO as a doctor who organized the evacuation of the wounded. And when the enemy invasion began on February 24, I went to my native military hospital without hesitation..

... The battles were near Kyiv. And for the first four months, all the doctors lived together in a hospital in the barracks.. In the admissions department, in the corridor, they provided primary surgical care and stabilized the wounded. Doctors slept right there on the benches, in sleeping bags.

When the roads from Kyiv to the west were clogged with cars with people fleeing the war, our city seemed deserted.. It was overgrown with caponiers and pillboxes, the streets bristled with anti-tank hedgehogs... But I was struck by the number of children of different ages who were in the hospital. These were the children of doctors who lived with their parents.. Their parents could not leave the wounded, therefore they did not manage to take the children out of Kyiv.

Also, everyone took their pets to work.. One head of the department walked his little dog when he had the opportunity to leave the operating room.. There was a cat in the anesthesiologists room. In one of the compartments in the foyer there was a cage with guinea pigs. And in the reception room - hosted the rabbit.

... In the middle of the night we woke up from the fact that they brought the wounded. Doctors, getting out of sleeping bags, provided assistance, resuscitated, nurses washed the bloody floor. The uniforms of the wounded brought from the battlefield smelled like fire, their hands were black from soot and gun oil.. We held on and worked on automatic. It was some kind of conveyor. The pain covered then, when turning to the wall, you try to fall asleep for a while.

... On one of these days, after a hard night, more than 60 wounded from Chernigov were brought to the hospital at the same time. Out of desperation, the doctors of the city gathered the seriously wounded (and the window panes had been broken in the hospital for a week already - at a temperature of -7 ° outside, antibiotics and painkillers had run out), loaded them onto the bus. The heavy ones lay on the floor on a stretcher, those who were a little lighter sat while the driver, under fire, broke out of the surrounded city..

Six gurneys were brought into the hall at once, there was no place to turn around, the gurneys stood in a row, the doctors unfolded blankets right there and examined the wounded. Among them was a young boy from the defense. He was wearing a hipster hat. A very young gray face. All in blankets. When they began to dismantle this mountain of blankets, a sweetish smell spread throughout the department, which cannot be confused with anything. The smell of gangrene. The leg had to be amputated (the lack of antibiotics affected), but the life was saved.

... The hospital worked in rhythm - someone works, and someone sleeps in a corner. At dawn, new wounded were brought from the outskirts of Kyiv. Among them was a very young girl.. She was brought in on a cart. Her entire side was cut with shrapnel, and every movement was difficult.. She quietly asked to go to the toilet. I went with her so that she would not lose consciousness and could get there.. Door. Two steps down. Door. Step. Another door. Step up into a narrow cabin. She was very uncomfortable that she was accompanied by a stranger. But I asked you not to pay attention to me.

... Many doctors were not from Kiev, but came to work from the towns of the region. Then some of them lost their homes during the siege of Kyiv. When the hospital moved to the barracks, people were waiting for news from their villages and towns.. Often occupied or those where there were fights. With one nurse, teenage children stayed by themselves for 10 days in the village where the invaders entered. And we all tried to find words of encouragement and pills to calm her down.. Although it was impossible.

Everyone then, as now, lived with one thought - to expel the invaders from our land.

…The first months were like a constant search. Search for drugs, search for AVFs, VAC devices, specific antibiotics. It was necessary to find not only them, but also the opportunity to bring what you need to Ukraine. A large part of the work that has to be done now - in the tenth month of the war, can only be announced after the Victory. Because this is one of the key rules of war that we must reckon with for the sake of security..

…Some foreigners still don’t understand why we don’t give up, don’t make any concessions. And I know why. Because they calculate our chances of winning in terms of mathematics.. But the will cannot be calculated. Although there are more Russians in number, as well as weapons, funds, propaganda.

…But the truth is on our side. The world is on our side. One of my comrades and the Hero of the future book - From the Flame we born / " He is still at war. With prosthesis. And in the war.

…My friend, an effective volunteer, went to war and now, together with her husband, is responsible for our peace in the north. Since they are in the mushroom region, in the fall she sent me oven-dried porcini mushrooms and a note. Every time I lose my strength, I open this package, inhale the aroma of mushrooms and read a note from her.. And it makes me feel better.

... We have not yet won the war. There are many more difficult days and nights ahead.. But the Russians have already lost the war. The whole world sees their meanness, cruelty, lies. We, with the whole country and at an extra high price, with the lives of our people, have to win back our history. Page by page.

Rockets bursting in the block from St. Sophia of Kyiv reveal to the world that we were the State even when our princes had not yet founded Muscovy. After Bucha, there is no need to prove to the world whether “Russians want wars”.

After the systematic destruction of our energy system, now Ukraine no longer needs to prove that it was the Russians who staged the artificial Holodomor of Ukrainians in 1923-1933.

It's a painful history lesson. But he was inevitable. I watch the latest videos from friends killed by the Russians, and I know that everything we are doing now and will do should be for ourselves and for the fallen friend. We must become like an ant. Our anthill is being destroyed, and we are restoring it. Stepping over fatigue, through pain, through fear.