Today, no one argues with the fact that the surrounding reality is changing very quickly.. Change affects most areas of our lives.. And approaches to raising children are no exception, according to the online publication for girls and women from 14 to 35 years old Pannochka. net Many parents of preschoolers worry about discipline and rules. On the one hand, I want to give the child freedom, but on the other hand, adults understand that total freedom does not always lead to good results..

Indeed, the child needs certain norms and outlines of the boundaries of what is permitted.. It may not be surprising, but it gives the baby a sense of security, security and stability.. After all, when it is known what is possible and what is not, where it is safe, and where it is better not to climb, a feeling of constancy, control of the situation and calmness is formed..

Frames are set to the child by adults. He does not set them himself, although he constantly checks for strength J • In the life of a child, there must be restrictions. It is necessary that the word \! " The main prohibitions relate to what can harm the life and health of the child.. It is best to explain the ban in a concise and accessible way.. (Stop! Hot. You can get burned. / No. We do not pull the cup. may spill).

•If it works out, we give the child the opportunity to get a safe experience: touch a hot kettle, a sharp fork, etc..

•In addition to categorical prohibitions, there are restrictions with conditions. in some situations it is impossible, but in other conditions it is possible. (On the site you stomp yourself. We go beyond only with mom. / We eat only in the kitchen. We do not go around the apartment with cookies. / Do not paint on furniture. Can on this big sheet of paper. ) Not immediately it will be clear to the child. On the part of parents, constancy and perseverance are important. In order for the rule to begin to be perceived by the child, you need to repeat it at least 30-40 times in different situations. This is due to the development of the baby's brain and the assimilation of new information..

• And most of all, the child, of course, should have freedom and permissions. that he can. All this can be compared with the “Traffic Light” rule: red prohibitions are something that is categorically forbidden always and by everyone, yellow ones are situational and with conditions, green ones are what is possible.

A very important condition for introducing restrictions into the life of a child is that these rules will be supported by all family members.. all those adults who are somehow involved in raising a baby should be united in the requirements for him. Both parents and grandparents and nannies should adhere to the general system. Otherwise, as soon as the baby understands that the older generation allows what parents do not allow (eat sweets in large quantities, watch cartoons before bed, etc.). ) - he will begin to look for convenient moments and use such situations to his advantage. And then the grown-ups say that the child “weaves ropes” and manipulates. But in fact, no matter how unpleasant it is to hear, the adults themselves introduce the child to the manipulations, from birth no one knows how to manipulate or do something out of spite. The child is only trying to satisfy his needs, and the behavior patterns are “showed” to him by others..

One of the options for interaction when setting rules can be the following algorithm. These are the actions of parents in situations where the child commits actions disapproved by adults or society or violates a rule / prohibition. This is not a punishment in the literal sense, but rather familiarizing the child with cause-and-effect relationships and demonstrating non-conflict communication..

When a child does something inappropriate (for example: in the sandbox he began to throw sand around the children. Before that, he sculpted Easter cakes, and then he decided to make a sand salute. He likes this activity and there is no understanding that it harms others) it is important for parents to stop him and tell him what exactly he is doing wrong. What exactly is his action we condemn. In the sandbox example: \! Can't throw sand. It gets in the eyes of other children and it is very unpleasant.”. If the child does something unpleasant in relation to the parent (beats him or bites), then he should also be stopped and reported on his feelings: “Stop! You can't beat me. It makes me very uncomfortable.”.

The next step is to provide the child with an alternative in action.. Quite often, adults forbid, but do not give possible options, and it is still difficult for a child to do this due to lack of experience.. (You can’t throw sand around, you can load it into a typewriter, build a house, sculpt beads. / You can't beat me. Can be stroked.

And the final stage - an adult exposes the child to a " If you keep doing it, then it will be like this or like this. And here the most important thing is to talk about the consequences that the parent will definitely be able to realize.. (“If you throw sand around - our walk will end / you won’t go into the sandbox until the end of the walk. / If you beat me, I’ll take you off my knees, ”but don’t say that we’ll never go out again or that they won’t buy toys anymore, or stop loving him, give him to my aunt, etc.. In the first such situations, perhaps the child will get scared, and then he will understand that this is unrealistic, the parent is simply angry and his words have no weight. ) And if the child still continues his inappropriate actions, it is important for an adult to realize his plan even despite tears and persuasion.

Then in subsequent situations, the child will know that the parents are specific, constant and authoritative..

This approach does not imply physical punishment, teaches the child constructive interaction and analysis of his behavior, and does not negatively affect or evaluate his personality in any way..

These are ideas for a message for parents. About discipline, rules, restrictions and training for this.

SAZONOVA POLINA, Instructor in preparation for childbirth, ABC for Parents Center.

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