An instructive story for those who do not know how to forgive - I will not forgive, - she said.. - I'll remember.

" - I'm sorry, it will be easier for you.

“No way,” She pursed her lips stubbornly.. - This cannot be forgiven.. Never.

- you will take revenge? he asked worriedly.

No, I won't take revenge.. I will be above it.

You want severe punishment?

I don't know what punishment would be sufficient.

Everyone has to pay for their decisions. Sooner or later, but everyone... - the Angel said quietly. - It's unavoidable.

- Yes, I know.

- Then I'm sorry.! Take off your load. You are now far from your offenders.

- Not. I can not. And I don't want. They have no forgiveness.

“Okay, it’s up to you,” Angel sighed.. Where are you going to store your grudge

“Here and here,” She touched her head and heart..

“Please be careful,” said the Angel.. - The poison of insults is very dangerous. It can settle like a stone and pull to the bottom, or it can give rise to a flame of rage that burns all life.

" - They are on my side.

And resentment settled where she said - in the head and in the heart.

She was young and healthy, she built her life, hot blood flowed in her veins, and her lungs greedily inhaled the air of freedom.. She got married, had kids, made friends. Sometimes, of course, she was offended by them, but mostly she forgave. Sometimes she got angry and quarreled, then they forgave her. There was everything in life, and she tried not to remember her offense.

Many years passed before she heard that hateful word "

- My husband betrayed me.. With children constantly friction. Money doesn't love me. What to do? she asked the elderly psychologist.

He listened attentively, clarified a lot, for some reason he kept asking her to talk about her childhood.. She was angry and translated the conversation into the present, but he again brought her back to her childhood.. It seemed to her that he was wandering through the back streets of her memory, trying to examine, to bring to light that old resentment. She didn't want it, so she resisted.. But he still saw, meticulous this uncle.

“You need to clean up,” he concluded.. - Your resentment has grown. Later grievances stuck to them like polyps on a coral reef.. This reef has become an obstacle to the flow of vital energy. From this you have problems in your personal life, and finances are not going well. This reef has sharp edges, they hurt your tender soul. Different emotions settled and entangled inside the reef, they poison your blood with their waste products, and this attracts more and more new settlers.

“Yes, I feel something like that too,” the woman nodded.. - From time to time I get nervous, sometimes depression presses, and sometimes I just want to kill everyone. Okay, gotta clean up.. But as?

“Forgive that first, most important offense,” the psychologist advised. - There will be no foundation - and the reef will crumble.

- Never! - the woman jumped up. - This is a fair insult, because that's how it all happened.! I have the right to be offended!

Do you want to be right or happy? the psychologist asked. But the woman did not answer, she just got up and left, taking her coral reef with her..

Some more years have passed. The woman again sat at the reception, now at the doctor. The doctor looked at the pictures, flipped through the tests, frowned and chewed his lips..

- Doctor, why are you silent she couldn't resist.

- Do you have relatives the doctor asked.

- Parents died, divorced from her husband, but there are children, and grandchildren too. Why do you need my relatives?

You see, you have a tumor. Here, - and the doctor showed in the picture of the skull where she has a tumor. - Judging by the tests, the tumor is not good.. This explains your constant headaches, and insomnia, and fatigue.. The worst thing is that the neoplasm has a tendency to grow rapidly. It increases, that's what's bad.

- And what, now I have an operation? she asked, cold with terrible forebodings..

- No, - and the doctor frowned even more. - Here are your cardiograms for the last year. You have a very weak heart. It seems that it is clamped on all sides and is not able to work at full capacity.. It may not transfer operations. Therefore, first you need to treat the heart, and only then... He did not finish, and the woman realized that “later” might never come. Or the heart will not stand, or the tumor will crush.

- By the way, your blood test is also not very good.. Hemoglobin is low, leukocytes are high... I will prescribe medication for you, the doctor said. But you also need to help yourself.. You need to bring the body into relative order and at the same time mentally prepare for the operation..

- But as?

— Positive emotions, warm relations, communication with relatives. Fall in love in the end. Look through the photo album, remember the happy childhood.

The woman just smiled wryly..

“Try to forgive everyone, especially your parents,” the doctor unexpectedly advised. - It makes the soul very easy.. In my practice, there were cases when forgiveness worked wonders..

- Oh really? the woman asked ironically..

- Imagine. There are many auxiliary tools in medicine. Quality care, for example… Caring. Forgiveness can also be a cure, free of charge and without a prescription..

Forgive. Or die. forgive or die? Die but not forgive? When the choice becomes a matter of life and death, you only need to decide which way you look.

Headache. Heartache. \? " Now it hurt. Perhaps the resentment has grown too much, and she wanted more. She took it into her head to displace her mistress, to take possession of the whole body. Stupid resentment did not understand that the body will not survive, will die.

She remembered her main offenders - those from childhood. A father and mother who either worked or fought all the time. They didn't love her the way she wanted them to.. Nothing helped: neither fives and letters of commendation, nor the fulfillment of their requirements, nor protest and rebellion. And then they parted, and each started a new family, where she had no place. At the age of sixteen, she was sent to a technical school, to another city, handed her a ticket, a suitcase with things and three thousand rubles for the first time, and that’s all - from that moment she became independent and decided: “I won’t forgive! She carried this resentment in herself all her life, she swore that the resentment would die with her, and it seems that this is how it comes true.

But she had children, had grandchildren, and a widower Sergei Stepanych from work, who tried to care for her ineptly, and did not want to die. Well, the truth is - it was too early for her to die! " “At least try.”.

“Parents, I forgive you for everything,” she said uncertainly.. The words sounded pathetic and unconvincing. Then she took paper and pencil and wrote: Dear parents! Dear Parents! I don't get angry anymore. I forgive you for everything.

My mouth became bitter, my heart sank, and my head hurt even more.. But she, squeezing the pen tighter, stubbornly, over and over again, wrote: “I forgive you. I forgive you" No relief, only annoyance rose.

" The river always flows in one direction. They are older, you are younger.. They were before, you are later. You didn't give birth to them, but they gave birth to you.. They gave you the opportunity to appear in this world. Be grateful!

" And I really really want to forgive them..

Children have no right to judge their parents. Parents are not forgiven. They ask for forgiveness.

- For what? she asked. Did I do something bad to them

You did something bad to yourself. Why did you leave that resentment in yourself? What makes your head hurt? What stone do you carry in your chest? What poisons your blood? Why does your life not flow like a full-flowing river, but flows in frail streams? Do you want to be right or healthy?

- Is it all because of resentment towards parents Is it she, or something, that's how she destroyed me?

“I warned you,” said the Angel.. - Angels always warn: do not save, do not wear, do not poison yourself with insults. They rot, stink and poison all living things around.. We warn! If a person makes a choice in favor of resentment, we have no right to interfere. And if in favor of forgiveness - we must help.

— And I can still break this coral reef? Or is it too late?

"

But they've been dead for a long time.! There is no one to ask for forgiveness now, and how to be?

- you ask. They will hear. Maybe they won't hear. After all, you're not doing it for them, but for yourself..

“Dear parents,” she began.. - Forgive me, please, if something is wrong... And in general, forgive me for everything.

She talked for a while, then fell silent and listened to herself.. No miracles - the heart aches, the head hurts, and there are no special feelings, everything is as always.

“I don’t trust myself,” she admitted.. - So many years have passed... - Try it differently, - advised the Angel. - Become a child again.

- How?

- Get down on your knees and address them, as in childhood: mom, dad.

The woman hesitated a little and knelt down.. She folded her hands in a boat, looked up and said: “Mom. Dad" And then again: " Her eyes opened wide and began to fill with tears.. \! Her chest was shaken by rising sobs, and then tears gushed out in a stormy stream.. And she kept repeating and repeating: “Forgive me. Please forgive me. I had no right to judge you. Mother, father…"

It took a long time before the streams of tears dried up. Exhausted, she sat right on the floor, leaning against the sofa.

- How are you? the angel asked.

- I do not know. I don't understand.

I feel like I'm empty, she replied..

“Repeat this daily for forty days,” said the Angel.. – As a course of treatment. Like chemotherapy. Or, if you like, instead of chemotherapy.

- Yes. Yes. forty days. I will.

Something in my chest throbbed, tingled and rolled in hot waves.. Maybe it was the wreckage of the reef.

And for the first time in a long time, there was absolutely, well, just about nothing, a headache.

lady. siteua. org.