Robert Crampton in The Times begins the article illustrated with a photo of Vladimir Putin at the piano, with an anecdote about a talking dog.

"I want to say, well, Ivan and - uh, Ivan - you're not stupid! Better than either of us, in view of your honestly ill-fated history, you need to know how the world works. Do you really believe in all this nonsense? - Crampton is hot. - Do you take seriously that your current favorite dictator can beat anyone in judo? Perfectly rides, not having a shirt on? Fighting bears? Pilots supercomplex jet fighters? Catching salmon from the rivers of Siberia? Looks surprisingly young without any plastic surgery, although his face stopped moving normally ten years ago? Easily deal with potential enemies? Dives under the Arctic ice and gets priceless antique ceramics? Or, for that matter, wins in all elections with an unimaginable margin? And now, obviously, he is strumming on keys in the manner of Shostakovich? ".

"I appeal to the good people of Russia. Whatever your big boss imagines, here in the West we are still inclined to treat your country well. By and large, we wish you the best. We know how everything was in the first half of the 1940s. We know that your sacrifice and courage, basically, won in that war, and, believe us, we are grateful, - reads the article. - But wait! We're not stupid.. We know when people hang noodles on our ears, and you should know ".

"Vladimir Putin is not a superman," Crampton points out.. - He's not a comic book hero.

He is a normal, capable man of error. Undoubtedly, he has many talents, but not so much as you think, if you believe what you are being convicted of. Grow up, damn it ".

"With all that, I'm sure: your boy Vlad really with extreme cruelty destroys perceptible threats to his country. Therefore, I believe that he will not take offense at my frivolous remarks. Hi. Much obliged. In the near future, I will not drink tea with any mysterious Slavs, "- sums up Crampton.