To your respects, the confession of a great attacker of the national team of Brazil and Inter Milan.

Do you know how you are a bitch

I know.

Including new decoration.

Biggest waste of football: I.

I deserve this word, come out. Not only because of the way it sounds, but because I am obsessed with this in order to ruin my life. I’m so kind, at the crazy entrances. I deserve this brand.

I don't do drugs because the stench can be overwhelming.

I won’t drown in crime, that’s for sure,? Might as well enter this path.

I don't like going clubbing.

I always go to the same place in my area, Nana kiosk. If you want to meet with me, come in.

So, I drink every other day. (And also in other days).

How can a person like me get to the point where he starts drinking as soon as possible

I don’t like to explain to others. Ale axis one. I drink because it’s not easy to be a slave, as one loses in prison. And in my life it becomes even worse.

They call me Emperor.

Reveal it.

The guy who deprived the favela in order to wrest the title of Emperor from Europe. Let me explain, man? I didn’t understand this until today. Garazd, perhaps, I still thought it was right.

Most people don’t understand why I was inspired by the glory of stadiums, so I could sit in my old neighborhood and drink myself into unconsciousness..

Because I wanted something, and that’s the decision that’s important to make.

Ale, I don’t want to talk about it right away. I want you to come to me on the road.

I have lived a lot of times in Barra da Tijuca, a fashionable area of \u200b\u200bRio. Ale my navel is drowning in the favela.

Vila Cruzeiro. Complexo ta Pena.

Stribay. Let's go there by motorcycle. So I feel calm.

I will let the people in need know that we will arrive. Today you will understand that it is really worthwhile to work with Adriano if you are with your friends in such a special place. Greedy nonsense and fake newspaper headlines. Spravzhna on the right. Is it true.

Come on dude. Already Svitanok. Nezabarom rukh zupinatsya. You don't know, really? Take the short line to Penya, brother. Ale just yakscho at this hour.

Will you go anywhere

I said. Axis vin, right next to the entrance until sleep. Field Ordem e Progresso. Damn it, I'm playing more football here, less on San Siro. You can handle it, brother.

To leave Vila Cruzeiro, you need to walk in front of the field. Football imposes itself on our life.

Here my father was truly happy. Almir Leyte Ribeiro. You can call him Mirino, as everyone knew him. People with status. Do you think I'm lying Ask someone.

Sosuboti yogo routine was the same. He woke up early, collected his backpack and wanted to go quietly to the field. \! I'm checking on you, buddy. Let's go! “Today we will have a great game,” he said. So our amateur team is small, we’ll call it “Hang”. Why the name I don't know, man! When I started, it was already called that. I've been playing with the yellow-blue football for a long time. Turn back. The same colors as in Parmi. Well, after we went to Europe, I never forgot the gris Varzea, as we call them in Brazil.

Vіsno. 2002 I arrived at the exit from Italy and didn’t pay anything. I took a taxi from the airport right here, near Cruzeiro. Axis line. I haven’t been to my mother’s before.

I went down to the bottom of the hill, throwing my bags and screaming up the hill. I was about to knock on the door of Kashashi, my dear friend (may he rest in peace), and on the door of Hermes, another friend of my childhood. When I arrived, I knocked at the window: “Suck it up, little bastard.”! Let's go! Let's go! Jorginho, another good friend of mine, arrived, and then. forget about it, dude. These guys were god willing! The world knew us only after a few days. We've gone up in price all over the area, playing at the ball, just hanging around all over the place, from bar to bar. The mule couldn't get in touch with him!

One of the superniks of Hanga buv Chapa Quente. We played with them at the finals of the amateur championship. I've already been to Parmi. My Tato talking to me today. “I’ve already signed you up for the championship, son. The boys are chattering. I told them for a month: “My great black dude is coming.”. And the stinks said: “It’s not fair, Mirino.”. It’s all the same for me. You will be grateful"

Of course,? I'm grave!

With a small plastic cup of Coca-Cola in my hand (the only drink I love), my dad voted for Hang's starting warehouse.

" Lemongrass, Richard and Cachasa are in ruins"

Damn, Lemongrass was an embittered lad. He's squeamish about everything. Richard gave a blow, which would be just as hard - or let the strongest know - my bottom. Everyone standing at the station was afraid if they ran up to get a penalty.

"

Cresio on the right flank and Jorginho on the left, our seventh number.

In the attack - Frank, Dingo, Volodar number 10, and Adriano"

With this team you could win Liza's champions.

I'll paint your picture. Specular weather near Rio, typical for the end of fate. Huchna music. Samba. Hot brunettes, what to smoke and walk here and there. Heavenly Father, bless us. There is nothing beautiful about the world, brother.

We won the final. Fireworks throughout the favela. Garne vidovische. Efficiently loud.

And on this field I learned to drink. My father was divine, man. He doesn’t like wine if he has beer, especially children.

I remember how he first caught me with a bottle in my hand. I was 14 years old, and everyone celebrated the holiday in our sleep. They installed floodlights on the field of Ordem e Progresso, they organized a barbecue for him.

There were a lot of people, this joy, which led everything, is typical for Varzeya, you understand? Samba, people come and go. Then I'm not a sucker. And if I got tired of it, like all children do with their right hands, I laughed and said: “aaaaaaa”. It was awkward. I took a plastic cup and filled it with beer. This drink, this thin pina, which first went down my throat, little special relish. A new world of “fun people” has opened before me. My mother was there in the evening and watched the scene. Vona mumbled, really? My dad. My God.

Having dangled a glass in my hand, I crossed the field with the querulous demeanor of a person who couldn’t afford to miss the bus.. “Pick him up right there,” he shouted.. Briefly and bitterly, as always. I said, " My aunt and mother quickly came to their senses and tried to calm everyone down before the situation got worse. “That way, Mirino, between his friends, he’s not going to do anything divine. “Just laugh, have fun, give me peace of mind, Adriano is still growing,” said my mother.

Ale rozmovi did not happen.

Old God of God. He snatched the glass from my hands and threw it into the ditch. “I didn’t understand what you said, son,” he said.

Mirino was the leader of Vila Cruzeiro. Everyone respected him. Vin giving the butt. Football buv yogo addicted. One of the missions was to not allow children to get confused in matters in which they should not get confused. Once again, you were planning to bring the children to play at the ball. We don’t want to, but we want to be fools. Tim, so that the stench does not ruin the situation at school. Yogo dad plenty of beer. In truth, I was an alcoholic. He died in front of him. That's why, if I sing like children sing, my father is not in any doubts. He threw the bottles and dances that stood in front of him on the pretext. Ale in tsomu did not sensu, really? Then the beast changed tactics. When we left, we took out our dentures and placed them in my glass or bottles of those who were with me. This lad is a legend. How will I run after him?.

All the lessons that I learned from my father were such that they were in gestures. We didn't have any deep roses. The old man was not one who philosophized or gave moral lessons, nor. What was lost was the honesty and respect that others had previously felt, but that was what most disgusted me..

The death of my father changed my life forever. There's a problem, I can't figure it out. It all started here, in bed, as it should be for me.

Vila Cruzeiro is not the most beautiful place in the world. Totally out of the blue.

This is truly a dangerous place. Life is hard. People suffer. Many friends have to take different paths. Look around and you will understand. I'm trying to save all the people I know who died a violent death, we've been talking about this for many days. May our Heavenly Father bless them. You can ask anyone here. Those who are able should not go to live in another place.

Damn it, my dad was shot in the head during the evening in Cruzeiro. Shalena kulya. You can't wait until you go wrong. Kulya went to hell and got stuck in the police station. Doctors could not cure it. After this life, my family’s life was never too bad. My dad started to have some attacks.

Whenever you look at a person in front of you, who is suffering from an epileptic attack? You don't want this bachiti, brother.

It's greedy.

I was 10 years old when my dad was shot. I am a survivor of this crisis. Mirinho could no longer practise.. The burden of waking up in the morning fell squarely on my mother's shoulders. And what did she earn Vona got stuck in. Vaughn provided additional insurance to help her neighbors. Our family was still in order, so we could help. Here we all live with little ones. No one cares anymore, no one else. And yes, my mother was not alone. Once upon a time, someone who extended a hand to help.

It seems like the lady came with a big box of eggs and said: “Rosilda, sell them to save a few pennies.”. So you can buy a hedgehog for Adriano" Ale won't have enough pennies to pay the neighbors. " Sell \u200b\u200bthe eggs, and you'll get the money back sooner." That's it, man. I swear to you.

Another guest gave her a gas cylinder. " Half yours, half mine" And my mother tried to pick up a few pennies, diligently working every day. My dad lost his home. And my mother ran for two, and my grandmother took me to training.

One of my aunts was in charge of work, which allowed her to take out food stamps.. Vaughn gave the coupons to my mother. .

Without these people I would be nothing.

Nobody.

Damn, because of all these roses I got sprague. Let's talk about our friend Hermes. Outside the yard. There! There, at the provulku.

My grandmother was hanging around here. Dona Wanda, what a character. Even though I already heard about her, so? \! Go and eat some popcorn" Grandma still can’t read my name correctly.

I climbed into it at home today, if I was a child. My mother, my father and I lived on Ninth Street, at the top of the hill. Do you want to go up there and marvel It's foldable. There is a lot of opportunity there. It would be better for us to stay here. Favelas have rules that we must adhere to.

When I was a child, my mother went to work and left me and my grandmother. Vona drove me to school, and then to Flamengo. My pregnancy started early, which can’t be ignored.

Hermes, my friend! Build us a domino. Be careful, he cheats like the devil. Marvel, yeah. Hermes is cunning. Sit here, Jorginho. Let's play at the dominoes, you can start.

We used to take a bath in a pit near the alley. Basiny? the favelas are like that, man. You don't know, really? Damn it, as in the daytime Rio, where the most possible people live, there is an unbearable heat, find yourself sleepy in the daytime Rio. Children go out of their way to cool down as much as they can. I will tell you that until this day I give priority to this very thing, you understand? I go to the pool, to the sea, just to pretend that I’m part of the safe areas. Ale I’m happy to take a shower in the morning, or else I’m pouring a bucket of water on my head, like we’re working here in the favelas.

Bachite Rukh people dovkola? I noise? Damn, the favela is completely different. We are responsible for the doors and the appearance of our neighbor. You put your foot in, and there’s Vlasnik in the store on the street, auntie, what’s selling dough with a bag from the hand, cousin of the perukar, what’s your cry to play football. We all know one thing. Naturally, one booth is next to the others, so?

This was one of the speeches that made me feel the most when I moved to Europe. The streets are moving. People don't live alone. Everyone is shaking badly. The first holiday, which I spent with Milan, was important to me, dude.

The end of fate is a very important hour for my homeland. We choose everyone at once. So it always happened. Our street was resurfaced, because Mirino was a butt, or not? The tradition started there. On the eve of the New Rock, the favela was also gathered near my home.

If I cross to Inter, I will feel a very strong blow from the first winter. Holiday has come, and I am left at my apartment by myself. Milana is terribly cold. The same depression that attacks a cold month on an evening in Italy. Everything is in the dark. Deserted streets. The days are even shorter. Sira weather. I didn't want to do anything, dude.. Everything was tied up with chores around the house, and I felt like I was.

Ale Seedorf was a chatty friend. Your squad was preparing a supper for those closest to them the day before, and they asked me. Show yourself a warm welcome at your booth. Elegance, as you can imagine. Everything was so beautiful and delicious, but honestly, I wanted to be near Rio de Janeiro.

I haven't spent many hours with them. I got out of bed, quickly said goodbye and turned back to my apartment.. I called home. " “Happy Birthday,” I said. \! I'll follow you. Happy birthday. Everything is here, it doesn’t matter only to you,” she said.

There could be a little laughter in the background. The booming sound of the drums that my aunts play, and if I could tell the hour, if they were girls. What? Those who are dancing, there is no stink at the ball, and. My mom is like that. I could see the scene in front of me, just hearing the noise on the phone. Damn, I immediately started crying.

\? " " I tenderly turned to look like a friend,” I said. \? Mom still lays on the table,” she said.. " Damn, this is a blow below the belt. Grandma's lip is the best in the world. I cried a lot.

I started sniffling. " Todi enjoy it. Reception evening. Don't complain, I'm fine"

I'm a bastard. I ate a gorka dance. I won't overdo it, brother. I'm viping all the time alone. I filled my ass with a burner. I cried all night. I passed out on the sofa because I drank so much and cried. Ale tse bulo everything, probably, man? What can I earn I'm at Milana's for a reason. This is what I spent all my life about. God gave me the opportunity to become a football player in Europe. The life of my family has been significantly brightened by my Lord and everything He has created for me. And my family has also earned a lot. It was a small price, since I had to pay an equal amount of what was expected and what is still not enough. I have clearly stated this. Ale tse did not respect me sumuvati.

Do you want to climb on the hills of my friend Toti There's my corner. I scream motorcycles. We'll take our drink and I'll show you the whole view of the complex. Come on dude!

Let me turn on the tunes. Tutufi, damn it. You don't understand, really? I'll connect my mobile phone to the speaker, damn it. What to say? Bluetooth? Oh, I don’t know how these words are expressed in English, no, damn it. I just started learning until I reach seventh grade! In the favelas we get to be louder, dude.. We feel such music only here.

Grotto Axis, Chatuba Axis, Cruzeiro Axis. It's all the same, really. One glued to another. All the massacres from the Pena complex. І axis The Church of Pena, high on the mountain, blesses us all. So, I go to church wearing this medallion. You deserve it? Then dress him up so he can catch the sickness. I tell you about our community. What a joy to the spirit, ha?

When I left Inter and left Italy, I came here to get together. I've been hanging around the whole complex for three days. Nobody knows me. There was no thirsty capacity. Rule number one of the favela. Keep your mouth shut. You're wondering if you'll ever see me again? There are a lot of squirrels here, brother.. The Italian press went crazy. Rio police carried out an operation with “my command”. They said they stole from me. You're frying, right Find out what you're going to do to get me out of trouble here... me, a child from the favela.

Everyone was tearing me apart.

No matter what, freedom is needed. I can no longer bear this, be constantly ready through the cameras, wherever I go in Italy, so as not to harass me in the way, either a reporter, a shadowy shahrai or some other son of a bitch.

In my sleep, we don’t have that. While I'm here, no one knows what I'm doing. This is my problem. The stench didn’t understand why I was drinking in the favela. It wasn’t through drinking or drinking, but mostly through drugs. It was for the sake of will. This is what I want for the world. I want to live. I want to become a human again. I want a little bit. This is the truth. I what?

I tried to earn what they wanted. I bargained with Roberto Mancini. I worked hard with Jose Mourinho. I cried on Moratti's shoulder. Alas, I couldn’t earn what they asked for. I got out of shape a lot of years, lost drinking, trained like a horse, and then there were relapses. Again and again. Everyone barked at me. I can't stand it anymore.

People said a lot of line. " You have given up everything for the sake of this line? " I don't know why it stinks. I made money for what was bad for me. I need my space to do what I want.

Now you yourself learn this. What's wrong with this is how we hang out here? No. Vibachte, scho roscharova. Alone, what am I looking for at Vila Cruzeiro, it’s calm. Here I go barefoot and without a shirt, wearing only shorts. I play domino, sit on the curb, tell children's stories, listen to music, dance with friends and sleep on the bed.

In every case, I teach my dad.

What else should I ask for

I never bring women here. And so I no longer bother with girls from my age. Because I just want to be with the world and remember my essence.

Why do I keep coming back here again?.

I'm really confused here.

Axis is my story.

Here I found out what sleepiness is.

Vila Cruzeiro is not the most beautiful place in the world.

Vila Cruzeiro – this is my place.

For materials from The Players' Tribune.