Football. ua presents to your attention an essay of Brazilian midfielder and Guangzhou Evergend Paulinho for The Players' Tribune.

In June, a year ago, there was a friendly match between the teams of Argentina and Brazil in Australia. Messi goes to my side, and we earned a penalty. I'm standing near the ball with Willian and someone else, but I was not going to hit, I was just distracting attention. Lionel comes up to me and asks: "So you really are moving to Barcelona?". He immediately turned and left. I without thinking said: "If you want this, then I'll go!". I never lose concentration during the game, but it was another case. I thought: "Is he serious? Why did he say that?".

I was in favor of Guangzhou Evergren, no one would have believed that I was interested in Barcelona. I began to think that he was joking and decided to press me. After the Brazil-Argentina match, I gave my T-shirt to the guard and asked him to hand it to Messi. The guard came back with Lionel's T-shirt, which he gave me. I thought: "Is it really true?".

After this moment, I returned to China and did not hear anything about my possible transfer. I enjoyed football in the Chinese Super League. In July, rumors of my transition to Barcelona began to appear more and more often.

I called my agent and said I was going crazy, and asked him to clarify the situation. He said: "It's very difficult. Maybe yes, maybe not ". I wrote to Neimar, maybe he knows something about this, but he was busy with his transition and did not know anything.

You know that when it comes to transfers, you can not believe anyone.. In truth, my wife and I felt good in China, and I enjoyed the pleasure of football. Before the rumors about Barcelona I was in perfect harmony.

In August, the transfer window was about to close, and I thought that it was all over. I stopped friends from Brazil, and this night my agent calls: "The transaction is complete. You need to fly to Barcelona to sign a contract ".

In truth, I did not believe my agent and told him: "Are you kidding?".

He replied: "No, no, no. It's true. You need to be here tomorrow ".

It was at four in the morning. I said that I can not, because I have visitors from Brazil and, in addition, it was four in the morning!.

But my agent was insistent: "This is Barcelona. Take your friends with you, and you fly the first flight ". On the way to the airport by car I thought about myself and about ... Messi.

If you think that my transition to Barcelona is crazy, then this is only the tenth chapter of my life. My story is even more incredible.

When I was 19, I decided to quit football. I was sitting at home in the depression in the summer of 2008. Messi was on the road to treblu, and I was lying on the couch, thinking that I do the rest of my life ... I played in Vilnius, in the old medieval city. There everything was calm, but one day several friends approached me and my friend Rodney and began to portray monkeys. We did not do anything, we just went to the bakery ... This was the first time I ran into racism in my life. Disgusting feeling.

I tried to reconcile myself with the fact that I was always provoked on the basis of racism, but I could not. A year later I moved to Poland. I left Brazil early enough - at 17, to give my family a better life. Back home in two years I was disappointed with football. Here it is necessary to pay tribute to my ex-wife, who said: "You can not change a light bulb. To finish career of the football player? You do not know how to do anything else ". And she was right.

After the European experience, I stopped loving football and decided to restart my career. I started playing in the fourth Brazilian division for the Pan de Acusar. It was incredibly difficult, long journeys by bus for 8 hours in the heat, when on the street 40 degrees ... I thought that I could not do it any more and said to myself: "You need to learn how to build houses or something like that".

Then I found the strength to overcome the negative. We raised from the fourth to the second division, and then to the first division, but already with Corinthians. There I met a man who changed my whole life - professors Titus. I'm very emotional when it comes to Tita. We are connected more than just football. He could look into my eyes and see if I'm okay or not. We did not need words.

There is one small story. In 2011, Corinthians won the Brazilian championship and there were many offers for our players, including me. I was interested in Inter. My agent called and told me that Inter expects to receive my answer within 15 minutes: "yes" or "no". I went to Tita's office, explained the situation. He said that he does not want me to leave, but this is my life and I have to decide. Titus said to go to the locker room, think about it, and then, as I make the decision, going to training, do this: if I stay - raise my thumb up, if I decide to leave - thumb down. "I will understand everything," he added..

I notified my agent's decision. Then I went to the training session and added a little intrigue, showing nothing. After, I lifted two thumbs up. Titus said: "Excellent, I thought that you would leave us".

In the end, for four seasons I worked with Titus in Corinthians. It was a golden period. In the end, I moved to Tottenham, and Titus was a man who always believed in me.

As for Tottenham, I can not say anything bad about the club. It was a hard time for me as a player, I guess I just did not get into the plans of Mauricio Pochettino, but we had no conflict at all.

Spurs received an offer from Guangzhou Evergren and I thought, "Why not try it?".

My friends thought I was crazy. But I lived, as once Dani Alves told me: "If something does not work out, then this is not the end. We'll just find another place where we'll play ".

I've played football all my life and I knew the most important thing is to love what you do. When I traveled by bus in the fourth division of Brazil, no one knew me. I was in the grave, I was dead in the eyes of the world.

I went to China to Luis Felipe Scolari. I was happy.

At that time Tite became in 2016 the head coach of the Brazilian national team. I told him: "Professor, you deserve to coach the national team". I did not expect him to call me.

We played very well in the championship of China, and one day Tite sent his son Mateus to follow my game. I played as usual, I just played. After the match, I waited and waited, but I did not count on anything. Then it turned out that I was taken to the World Cup qualification matches!.

The media were shocked. "Why Tite took Paulinho? He is in China". There is one joke that Tite liked to tell in training: "When we attack, be prepared that the rebound will find Paulinho". They joked that the ball always finds me, like an enchanted.

People look at me and say: "Wow, you moved from China to Barcelona. Just a miracle ". But being in Barcelona, ??happened one of the most dramatic moments of my life. In October, my wife asked me to take her to the doctor, she does not like doctors, but there was something wrong ... After coming to the hospital, the doctors did some tests and took his wife to intensive care. It turns out that the twins tried to get into this world at the 28th week. It was extremely dangerous. Doctors said that my wife needs to last two weeks to give them an easy way to develop. 7 days, 14 days, 20 days ... 21. My wife is a real fighter! She lasted 21 days!.

October 20, it was necessary to go to Greece to play against Olympiakos in the Champions League. I could not help it, I had to take the plane and leave. That night Barbara called me and said that Sophia and Ze Pedro were born!

I cried and cried, I wanted to be there, but they were here. It is most important.

I must pay tribute to my wife. She is a hero. I just have to play football, and she fought for the lives of our children. It's incredible what forces the mother can find in herself when her children are in danger.

On December 23, Sofia and Ze Pedro returned home. It was the best gift for Christmas!.

It's a miracle when you come home after football, and in the eyes of the children you can read: "Hello, Dad!".