"I have a problem," says Bojan Krkich, sitting down on the sofa. "I love football, this is my life".
His homeland is one of the five countries in which he played. Boyan started in Barcelona, ??where he became the youngest player to make his debut in the championship, and then played in Roma, Milan and Ajax. Krkich joined Stock in 2014 before renting to Mainz and Alaves. Four times he won in the championship and twice in the Champions League, was the world champion and played along with some of the best players of that generation. In addition, he scored in La Liga, Serie A, Eredivizi, Premier League and Bundesliga, and he is proud of this. So this may seem like a strange problem, but there is something in it.
The question was to leave the football behind, and Bojan Krkich doubted. However, in the long run, football, the game itself, conquered the attacker, who almost gave up at the age of seventeen. Boyan was under serious pressure, which was very difficult to cope with. Panic attacks that did not allow the Krkich to play for the Spanish national team were overcome, and he challenged others.
Boyan was unpleasant with a stream of people's opinions that could not be stopped, a society where "jealousy" prevails and "everyone has access to you". "You should not be influenced, but it's not always easy," admits the striker.. "Those of us who are more sensitive need emotional shield and support. Football players are very young and exposed. Even at the age of 15, the players have Twitter, and I'm sure they already get insults. it's terrible, and everybody keeps silent about it ".
"I scored 900 goals for all the youth teams in Barcelona," recalls Bojan. "This achievement accompanies you all your career". It was a little over two weeks after the seventeenth birthday, when he first played in La Liga, not allowing another player to break the record. His name is Lionel Messi.
"People say my career was not as expected. At first I was called "the new Messi". Well, yes, if you compare me to Messi. but what kind of career did you expect? There are many things that people did not know. I did not go to the European Championships in 2008 because of problems with panic attacks, but it was announced that I'm going on vacation. My international debut was to take place in a match with France, but it was said that I had gastroenteritis, although it was a panic attack. No one wants to talk about it. Football does not interest.
Let's talk about this. It is important. "At 17 my life changed completely.. In July, I went to the World Cup among boys under 17, and no one knew me. On my return, I could not even walk down the street. A few days later I debuted in the match against Osasuna, played in the Champions League three or four days later, then scored Villarreal, and later was called to the national team. And everything was fine, but the head is filled until there comes a moment when the body says "stop".
"Anxiety affects everyone in different ways. I spoke with someone who felt that his heart was beating 1000 times a minute. I, for example, had dizziness, a feeling of pain, constant, 24 hours a day, "says Boyan, pointing to the head. "There was pressure, a powerful, never gone away. I was fine when I entered the locker room before the game with France, but I began to feel very dizzy. It was the first time. It all started in February and lasted until summer. Before the European Championships, I decided that I could not take part, I had to isolate myself.
"Everyone in the federation knew: Luis Aragones, Fernando Hierro. Hierro sent me messages every week to ask about my state of health. The day before the announcement of the application for the European Championship I got a call from the team, I said: "It's painful to talk about it, but I can not". Having reached the Camp Nou, I met Carles Puyol. He said: "Boyan, I'll be with you, I'll be next to you". I said, "Pouilly, I can not". And the next day saw the headline: "Spain is calling Boyana, and Boyan says" no ".
"This title killed me, everyone put it as if I do not care. I remember that I was in Murcia, people insulted me: they did not know, they just thought that I did not want to play. It was hard, although at that time I really did not care what people say. It was painful that the headline, apparently, came from the Federation. How can you, having called me, having talked the day before, knowing how I feel, to give such a headline? I felt very lonely. Until now, there are people who ask me: "Why did not you leave?".
Why did not Bojan explain it then? "I was scared. I was sick. Was stunned. I did not know what I was doing. I remember how in an interview with "Barca TV" it was said that I needed a rest. I knew it was wrong, but at that age. We were just trying to put out the fire.
Bojan was created by a player who will become one of the best in his generation. In his absence, Spain began the most successful era in history. In four years he left the Camp Nou. Since then, Krkic has played in six clubs in seven seasons. "It would be easy to stay in Barcelona, ??not to play, but I needed to move," he says.. "Maybe sometimes it was necessary to be more patient, but I was always honest, made decisions to move. I often heard: "Let's see if Bojan will return to the best level". What is the best level? Every season I reached this level, sometimes more consistently, sometimes less, but I always competed well.
At the training in Alaves, when Krkich and Munir El Haddadi are in the same circle, the captain of the team Manu Garcia yells: "Beware, there are four Champions League here," Boyan grins.. "After the Champions League 2009 I spoke with Thierry Henry, and he said:" I came here to win the Champions League for the first time ". I thought: "Wow, this guy who is an absolute professional, wins his first Champions League cup in 30 years and here I am, at 18. "There are players who have never played in the Champions League, so I feel privileged.
"And most importantly - it's not trophies, but experience, what you live in, what's in your heart that you know. No one will ever be able to steal it from you. Those people who spoke ill of you, they will forget about everything.
If Victor Valdes, the greatest goalkeeper in the history of Barcelona, ??was forgotten, how can they not forget me? What remains will be pride, unique moments that many players have never lived.
"I love football, and no one will ever take it away from me. I am proud of my career, I am proud that I lived, and even if there are hard times, including this year, you need to be strong. I will always love football, always, I'm still young, I like to play, and yet I'm not going to stop ".