Olga Lukinskaya Three days ago, actress and model died of leukemia Stella Baranovskaya. When, after the diagnosis was made, money was collected for treatment, she was accused of fraud - after all, in the eyes of society, the cancer patient should not habitually look good and publish photos in social networks. Otherwise the person as if "insufficiently" is sick and as though does not deserve the help and sympathy. "Something you do not look sick" is a familiar expression of mistrust, as if looking after a cold or poisoning should be strictly defined. Publication from @ stella9s Jun 6 2017 at 1:36 PDT Probably, to total mistrust and search for a dirty trick in every detail, dozens of years of corruption have resulted in all levels - when for a small bribe or a gift you can take a sick leave for a week or a certificate that exempts from physical education. How many of us had to hide from the teacher when she saw her on the street during a cold - suddenly he thinks that in fact there is no cold, but what about the parents' agreement? Although it is obvious that with ARVI it is possible and necessary to walk outdoors, but you do not need to go to school to better recover and not infect others. We have been accustomed since childhood to the fact that even this most common cold is a great event that must be treated with a dozen means and during which everything, even washing, is forbidden - although it would seem that no one has recovered faster from a layer of dirt on the skin. According to the national order, it turns out that, getting sick, instead of arranging a comfortable recovery, one must lie face down, turning into a shroud. In part this resembles the situation in the stories of violence, when the victim, according to someone's opinion, "is too good at holding". If the incident did not break you, did not lead to a hospital or suicide - then it's nonsense, not violence. It is not clear why others do not do the opposite: do not admire the strength of character, the ability to survive the trauma and live on, smile, make friends. Moreover, the behavior of a man in public can hardly 100 per cent convey his inner feelings. Efforts turned outwards can have a therapeutic effect, help to get in the norm and not get stuck in a tragic accident - whereas the negative reaction of others can reduce this entire effect to nothing. In a society where both the experience of violence and the serious illness are devalued, no achievements are also considered such - if for them they did not have to go through suffering. The patient should be pale, the victim of violence - in eternal depression, the mother - exhausted. Have trained the child to sleep in a separate room from the early months - it's not your merit, it's a "gift baby". You also make a manicure without breaking away from the baby - just like a bad mother, somehow suspiciously to you simply. They built a career, successfully emigrated, received several higher educations - it does not count if you are from a complete family and did not get out of poverty. On the other hand, if someone confesses that he has faced a serious illness or treatment that takes away all his strength, the opposite reaction begins. "Hold on," "cheer up," "get together, rag" - society does not care that from chemotherapy can be severe vomiting or such a stomatitis, in which it is painful even to drink water. A sick person is caught between two fires: he showed that he is ill - "raskis", leads an active lifestyle - well, probably not so sick. In both cases, however, someone else's experience depreciates: instead of compassion, the audience simply tries to shut themselves off as quickly as possible from the fact that we never know for sure what is happening in the life of another person: what he feels, what he wants and what efforts he makes. The sick person is between two fires: he showed that he is ill, - "deformed", leads an active lifestyle - well, probably, not so sick. There is hardly any "normative" level of suffering that will suit everyone - and why, in fact, a sick person should seek the approval of society instead of unconditional support? We often write about people with severe and potentially lethal diseases, including oncology, and they tell how important it is to continue to be active and enjoy life. After setting such a diagnosis as breast cancer, many people have a new set of priorities: when it is clear that life can be not so long, I want to enjoy every day of it. The quality of life in our medicine, unfortunately, is given little attention - this is due to the fact that it developed in isolation from the world, and with an obvious lack of funding. If in the West great importance is attached to the management of pain or just palliative care, then we help such patients on a residual principle - in almost no way. The initiative usually comes not from the Ministry of Health, but from private charitable foundations - a lot for palliative care in the country made, for example, Elizaveta Glinka. A separate story is a criticism for refusing chemotherapy from those who transferred it, which Stella Baranovskaya had to listen to on the program "Live". I would like to remind you that there are actually hundreds of oncological diseases, and the protocols of chemotherapy are dozens, and all of them are transferred in different ways to different people. With metastatic cancer, in many cases it is no longer a question of the possibility of a cure - and doctors can provide a choice: prolong life for several months by painful procedures or leave a person alone and try to make his remaining days as comfortable as possible. Speech again about the quality of life, which should not be an empty sound. Those who deal with the bullying of people with serious diseases, accusing them of fraud or "insufficient" level of suffering, you can only wish themselves not to be in this situation.

Understand that they are wrong, but not at their own skin. Perhaps, all of us should be more attentive and kinder, do not look for a dirty trick and not be suspicious. Anyone who continues to smile, move and go to work with a serious illness, deserves no less respect than a person who apparently suffers from pain around the clock. Photos: WavebreakmediaMicro - stock. adobe. com.

Original article: "Something does not look sick": Why in Russia it is customary to suffer.