Trust in yourself and others is often the first loss during disappointments and falls. Perhaps someone betrayed or failed us or our own convictions proved to be false. And we may have questions: "How could I be so stupid and naive" or "Did I not notice warning signs". It is important to understand that trust can very rarely erupt in an instant - most often it appears as a result of strengthening relations.
Charles Feltman in his book "The Thin Book of Trust" describes trust as a willingness to risk his own vulnerability and to open to another person something that is valuable to you. And distrust as a solution as a solution: "Those that are important to me in this situation, will not be safe with another person".
Comprehending our stories with a loss of confidence, we should precisely determine where the hole is and think about it. The ability to point out specific behavior, and not just use the word "trust", can greatly help comprehend our history. The more concrete we are, the more likely that we will be able to change the situation or perception.
Brenna Brown identified these elements of trust, important both for trusting others and for trusting oneself. These seven elements are denoted by the acronym BRAVING (courage). As wisely suggested by Feltman, the separation of trust attributes into specific behaviors allows us to more clearly identify and remove holes in trust.
Consider these attributes:.
Borders. You respect my personal boundaries and if you are not sure what is acceptable for me and what is not, ask. Are you ready to hear "no".
Reliability. You do what you say. At work, this means keeping within their competence and responsibilities so as not to give unnecessary promises and be able to fulfill the obligations assumed.
Accountability. You acknowledge your mistakes, ask for forgiveness and correct them. The mouth on the lock (vault). You do not share information or stories that do not belong to you. It is important for me to know that my secrets are kept and that I do not share confidential information about other people.
Observance of own principles (integrity). You decide to practice your own principles, and not just declare them.
Unjudgment. I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about what we feel without judging each other.
Generosity. You try to make the most generous assumptions about the intentions, words and actions of others.
If you reread this checklist and change it a little, you will see that BRAVING is an excellent tool for assessing self-confidence.
B - Have I respected my own boundaries? Did I clearly understand what is acceptable and what is not?.
R - Was I reliable? Did those who spoke about?.
A - Did I take responsibility?.
V - Did I respect the secrets of other people and did not share confidential information?.
I - Did I adhere to my own principles?.
N - Did I ask for the ones that I need? Did I condemn the need for help?.
G - Was I generous to myself?.
The article appeared thanks to the works of Charles Feltman and Brene Brown.
Dmitry Dudalov Source: https: // psy-practice. com /.